My mother needs an adjustable bed. Being fed through a tube requires that you not lay flat, and the aides have been struggling mightily to keep her propped up enough so that she does not get sick. She is cranky and uncomfortable, and they are all going to wind up with back problems from the lifting and shifting. She does not want the bed. She loves her mattress, which is old and hard as a concrete slab. I order it anyway and tell her she should just try it.

It arrives and is the answer to everyone’s prayers, except my mother’s. The head and legs lift, it has a massage feature… For God’s sake, I want the bed. She wasn’t in it for 5 minutes before she hated it. She then started a major offensive campaign to get rid of it. Now, she is a clever woman, and extremely determined. Through most of her life she just fought until she got what she wanted and it was a very effective strategy. I told her to call the doctor and have him explain why she needs the bed. She did and promptly discounted everything he said. She wanted the company to come get it. They wouldn’t. (I had neglected to mention that it was not returnable.) She tried to get the handyman in the building to dismantle it. He said he didn’t know how. She knew the old mattress was stashed in another room and she wanted it back, right now. I, of course, am scurrying behind the scenes calling everyone before she gets to them to let them know that under no circumstances are they to help her get rid of the offending item. This went on every day for 3 or 4 months. Seriously. Not a day passed without discussing how much she hates it and how uncomfortable she is. The fact that anybody who lays in bed 24 hours a day would be in pain does not stop her from blaming it on the bed. It is the source of all evil.